It’s nights like these that bring me back to nights like those. Not only am I lonely, but I am stuck here pondering. It makes me wonder if everything you said and still say is a lie. At this point actions really do speak louder than words. I’m tired, I’m exhausted. I’ve wasted my energy on a love that just wasn’t meant to be. You better know that I damn well tried my best, and gave you my all. But I’m sure you don’t think that because I know my best was never good enough for you. As hard as I try to forget, I know deep down I never will and I’m sorry for that. And I’ve realized that I deserve to be proud of the person i am, and who I am with and proud of the relationship I’m in; and right now im not proud at all. I’ve actually never been, I’ve tried to hide everything, that’s not healthy. I have never ever been myself around you. I’m actually really out going, did you know that? Because I’m pretty sure everytime I’m around you, I’m so shy and it takes me forever to warm up. I’m sorry I put up such thick walls. I know it must be hard to deal with me, but you know what, I’m tired of saying sorry, that’s all I ever say. Im tired of waiting around and being lonely, I’m tired of the on-going hurt that you have caused. I’m finished with putting burdens on my shoulders, but I’m definitely not saying the burden should be on yours. But Its time to stop fighting this weak and ugly fight. Because I’m tired of feeling this way, being someone I’m not around you, and feeling sorry for my self.
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